I feel a lil’ bit eerie about everything. It seems that nothing is moving forward in my life, I mean on a more personal note. I’ve met a lot of people, gained friends, deciphered and decoded puzzles, mysteries, issues and even people around me, testing if they’re at their utmost sincerity or not, I myself have been trying my ingenuity and how far can I run with these ideas in my mind.
I want to move forward, to go places, to find myself or discover more about me, cause right now, I’m in so much pain, even if I’m physically alright and mentally capable. I don’t even suffer emotional complex yet I feel so exhausted and tired of all these ‘stagnant’ moments that is happening in my life.
Its not with the people around me, they’re the best really. Maybe its just me, and this so-called ‘mission’ of mine, something I am not aware of at all.
If I can escape everything even for just a day, I don’t know. I’m scared that if I come back, the world that I live in right now may be totally altered and that I’ll be a stranger to the place I wanna run away. But to fly beyond this wall of whatever, I really want that to happen.
Sometimes, I have to stop being me so I can be really me. I know its a bit confusing and out of the line but in my head, it makes perfect sense. I really need to get out of this life, even just for a day, go somewhere new, different, somewhere free, somewhere that I can be alone. a place where I can shout as loud as I can, where I can run freely with no one stopping me, a place where I can reach the stars. hah. I’m such a dilly dally.
And I’m totally not making any sense now, do I?